Backyard BBQ Bax Style Part III

When we last left yours truly he was knee-deep in BBQ guests and the cavalry had just arrived in the form of a Mexican Fire God aka Rob...

I quickly filled Rob in on what i could remember as far as what animal carcass was on what smoker and in what cooler so far. Rob, still in shock on the amount of people streaming in after his arrival ,quickly grabs an armful of ribs and hightails it to the kitchen to cut up and hand out to the drooling throng of bbq zombies .

Just before the lid of the cooler closes I notice that it looks a little light in spite of the fact that Rob has relieved it of ribs.

I could have sworn there was a couple butts in there resting in addition to the one thats on the smoker that the Ecudorian tooth fairy has already taken a bite out of and which Perry has already instructed me to take a plaster cast of the bite so we can find out who the culprit is.

He has also brought in a few guests to introduce me to..one being the Kid Henry. I shove a 20 in his pocket and tell him to keep his fucking mouth shut, watch and learn, and above all never rat on your friends. I go to pull out a butt for the kid to start pulling and lo and behold the one meat cooler is now empty. Out of the corner of my eye I see Mama walking by slightly hunched over .
I didnt notice the large grease stained hump on her back earlier. I apologize for staring at her obvious physical deformity it and she says 'What hump?" and scurries into the house . As she does this I catch a waft of porky odor.

Could this little old lady be a sneak thief? The type to rob the street car company of nickels and to heist a few choice pieces of meat from the coolers? Anyway I look up and the scene before me tells me its no time to worry about whether meat is getting lifted.

There has to be at least 50 guests stuck in the little gateway leading to me and the smokers, thier eyes rolling in thier sockets and bbq sauce laden drool running out of their mouths. Its a take right out of Dawn Of The Dead. The man himself, George Romero, couldnt setup a more horrifying scene. I quickly light up the weedburner to fend off the the drooling moaning bbq guests. The heat is too much for them and they walk away muttering and greedily sucking what little bit of sauce they have left on their fingers to try and quench their inhuman taste for smoked animal flesh.
Between Perry walking around like Quasimodo as talk show host, Rob playing The Invisible Man in the house, and hundreds of zombielike guests on a feeding frenzy its beginning to look the backlot of Universal Studios back in thier horror movie heyday.

I call up Elaine, who is sitting only approximately 20 feet and but a good 200 guests away from where I am at and ask her to lob a beer in my direction. Good thing she has a good arm.

As I chug the beer I hear Perrys scream "MORE ABTS!" .....

Coming soon Part IV Salsa Time aka Those Ecudorians Stole Our Dates