"....Tonight We Dine In Hell"
Im pretty much a history buff and one of the subjects I enjoy reading is military history. So it was no surprise that when I caught wind of a movie being made called 300 and that it would center on the battle between what was a combined Greek force of 7,000(including the infamous 300 Spartans, a handful of of Greek slaves, and allies from Arcadia, Corinth, Thespiae & Thebes) and Xerxes Persian army at the Hot Gates of Thermopylae I was excited as well as apprehensive. I mean the first thing that came to mind was the old movie on the same subject titled The 300 Spartans that I would catch on late night tv as a kid in the 60's. It was the usual cheesy sword and sandal epic where everyone in the Greek army had English accents and dressed like Romans. The typical 60's Hollywood Bizarro version of history. Then when I further found out it was based on a comic book (graphic novel to arrogant nerds) version of the story I was even more apprehensive. I mean this was suppose to be history plus most comic book based movies suck ass to begin with.
Anyway the cool commercials and my huge interest in the subject itself was enough to compel me to head to the nearest multiplex with son in tow.
After thoroughly embarrassing my son at the ticket booth by telling the girl taking our money that my son secretly wanted to see Dreamgirls over 300 but was too shy to buy a ticket we headed in.
We settled back in the old Imax theater which is now called the "big" screen theater ( I kid you not) and waited through twenty minutes of commercials and trailers for upcoming crap being churned out faster than bad beer at Wrigley Field by the new corporate Hollwood.
The movie then finally began...
I gotta say..this is the most fun I ever had watching a movie in a long fucking time. It was a 10 year boys version of history unfolding on the screen. Beheadings, disememberment, mutants, & monster wolves ran rampant with a bit of female nudity thrown in for good measure. It was like watching a 2 hr battle scene. And some of the best and most quotable dialogue to come along in a movie in ages. Both my son and I sat there the entire time with shit eating grins on our faces as we watched battle hardened Spartans perform the ancient art of war Matrix style against gigantic mutant Persians.
all in all one excellent moive..it was so good in fact It made me forget all about the upcoming Grindhouse for a couple hrs
the only negative was the English and Welsh accents littering the movie.
In the end I think we need Mel Gibson to make the definitive Spartan movie where all the dialogue is in ancient Greek with English subtitles.